Parenting is easy… said no one ever!
Sharing parenthood experiences can provide relief, hope, support and a reminder that you’re not in it alone. We asked five Riverside County dads to share their struggles, joys and advice.
Here are their perspectives:
Meet Davin Barnes Jr., 27, father of Ashton, 3, and Aaliyah, 9 months
What’s tough for Daddy? Seeing my little ones grow up and realizing that one day they will not be that interested in me. Parenting comes with its highs and lows, but overall it’s a blessing to be able to have healthy kids.
What I want my kids to learn most . . . The difference between right and wrong and that all actions have consequences. This way they know and understand that the smallest mistake can change their life or someone else’s life.
Best advice so far: “You must have patience.”
Meet Joe Singh, 35, father of Eliana, 1
What’s tough for Daddy? Fearing something bad will happen to her but that also makes me hyper vigilant. Second is just the demands Eli has for my time; it’s not “my time” anymore. Everything revolves around her schedule. Third is being an example to her of a loving, trustworthy and kind person.
How do you not stay positive about parenting? Really, I rely on my faith knowing that grace is essential in all human interactions, including and especially in parenting.
What I want my daughter to learn most . . . My wife and I are teaching her English and Spanish. My hope is for her to embrace her culture and receive the cognitive benefits from being bilingual.
Best advice received so far: “It’s easy to be a Dad. All you have to do is give them your time and attention.” They grow so quickly. I took six weeks off when she was born to be with my wife and daughter. I would not trade that time for anything. I’ve convinced several friends to do the same.
Meet Randy Kibbie, 35, Father of Hunter, 3, and Tyler, 12
What’s tough for Daddy? Worrying about your children growing up in a very big and scary world! I have two great kids that are full of life and are a constant source of positivity.
What I want my kids to learn most . . . Problem solving and independence, because life will throw you problems that sometimes only you can find solutions for.
Best advice received so far: “Let them be their own person.”
Meet Nash Quines, 38, father of Isabelle, 3, and baby boy on the way
What’s tough for Daddy? You feel like you are walking on egg shells because everything you see or read is basically saying “you are messing up your kid”. You wonder if you are spending enough time with them, saying the right things, hugging them enough, hugging them too much… it’s difficult to know if you are doing the right thing, and it’s stressful. My daughter keeps me positive. She has this sense to come give me a hug or a smile when I’m feeling down or questioning myself. It’s all for her anyway, so when she is happy, it’s enough to keep me going.
What I want my kids to learn most . . . to cherish people and experiences and not things.
Best advice so far: “Enjoy this time because she will never be the age she is right now, no matter what is happening that day, at that moment, you won’t get this chance again.”
Meet Adrian Martinez, 28, father of Jack, 2, Quinn, 11 months, baby on the way
What’s tough for Daddy? Managing time. Having to work to provide for my family while wanting to spend quality time with them is a constant struggle. I thought I would be a natural disciplinarian. Turns out, it is way more difficult than I thought. I have to always remind myself that discipline is about shaping my kids into who they will be. Being too soft on discipline would be horrible for my kids in the long run.
Even though parenting is difficult at times, I believe that God is in control of absolutely everything) and there is great comfort in knowing that. His character (namely his kindness and mercy) gives me hope for their futures.
What I want my kids to learn most . . . I hope that my children learn to trust us. If they trust us, which largely relies on us being trustworthy, I think it will make matters of obedience and heeding advice much easier. They will hopefully WANT to do those things.
Best advice received so far: “The best thing you can do for your children is to love their mom.”